I cannot stress how important self-care is! Not just for you but for your relationship with others and especially with your husband whether emotionally or physically. This is super important! Not that sex is the most important thing in a relationship, but it is a BIG deal in terms of intimacy.
This is typically most important for the male species and it is not just about bumping uglies. It is about connecting to one another.
I always think about the therapists back in the day doing marriage counseling with couples on LSD or ecstasy. I know it sounds crazy, but you can call me crazy. You know how hard it is to get close to someone as a woman when you are mad at them right??? I mean there is a reason that women tend to “withhold” sex when they are mad. Is it because they are actually wanting to and holding out to be a bitch or are they just so pissed off they can’t even imagine being vulnerable enough with someone to get naked in front of them?
I know for me that when I am pissed or hurt…the last thing I want to do is to be touched or to allow myself to be vulnerable in any way because I am scared. I don’t want to get hurt. And that, as a woman is usually our most vulnerable part.
I can usually barely even look at Steven let alone let him touch me if I’m hurt. So, these hippie therapists used the high of the drugs to allow married couples who had built such thick walls up around each other to begin to touch again. That small interaction of a look, a hand on the shoulder, on the small of your back, a hug, a kiss on the cheek, holding hands,….to the more intimate stuff. Those things sometimes are too painful to get past and no one wants to give in first. The drugs allowed these couples to put down those barriers and let each other in again.
People need to connect on this level. It is not about the sex, but the connection that these moments give us and build between each other. SO if you are not having sex, get to it! Seriously, I have always been one of those women who believes, if you are not fucking your man, someone else will…and probably is.
Any who, my whole point of that is that physical touch is meaningful so doing what you need to do to keep yourself in the position that this is more likely to happen is key and self-care is a part of it.
Do you feel sexy when your legs are not shaved?
Do you feel sexy with a huge bush?….I mean maybe you do…to each their own.
Do you feel sexy if you have not brushed your teeth all day and you’ve been lying in bed for 10 hours?
Do you feel sexy if you are dragging ass, mentally drained, tense, sluggish, have no energy, and your hair is a mess?
Well, me neither.
Know yourself and what makes you feel sexy. A lot of us women have a hard time doing for ourselves or even our husbands.
I don’t have a kid yet, so I probably shouldn’t speak on the matter, but if you know me I will anyways….A lot of women seem to do for their kids and NOT their husbands.
Why does having a kid mean your hubby gets the shit end of the stick? Those kids are not going anywhere…they need you…you feed them and clothe them….they will not survive without you.
Remember, this man has chosen to be with you, legally your BFF for the rest of your life and that baby comes and you just toss him out the window. No more sexy time for daddy because the baby takes ALLLLLL of your energy.
Back to my theory ladies…if you take care of that man, he will take care of you. Go give your man a blowie and see how fast that laundry gets done. Just like a good manager is going to take care of his employees so they put out more efficient work flow…spend your energy there, rather than continuing to do the work for them and ending your days with a never ending pile of laundry, a messy, bun, over-sized holy t-shirt and a horny unhappy husband that’s masturbating in the bathroom.