This post is about 2 things.
Being a therapist and being a Mother 2 Be.
First and foremost…. being a therapist, in some ways is a life ruiner.
Especially my specialty of DBT(Dialectical Behavior Therapy) which is heavily doused with Validation!!!!!
Having been so heavily trained in validation has made me a little bitch. A little bitch with high ass expectations and a lack of reciprocation.
I have the same issues as a massage therapist or a nail tech…I mean look at their hands…they usually look terrible! They spend all of their time and energy taking care of others that this area is not taken care of themselves.
I too…do not want to therapize when I’m done working for the day. I don’t want to validate your ass. I want to be straight forward and tell you how it is and not use any more of my mental energy (because I have none at this point) to make you feel validated.
BUT you better believe that my hypocritical ass expects you to acknowledge my feelings!
I hate that this has happened but it is so. I get so upset if someone does not validate me. Like they should know that this is the healthy way to engage in a relationship.
The other side of this is that:
Being pregnant is the most invalidating experience I have ever had.
It does not matter what I say or what I do….what my excitements, expectations or FEARS are. I get the same responses that I’m just supposed to be okay with.
“Oh you won’t care.”
“That’s the last thing that will be on your mind.”
“It won’t even matter.”
“It’s soooo worth it .”
Can someone please just say, “yeah, being your first pregnancy it would be very scary.”
I mean for the love of Marsha Linehan (creator of DBT) can a pregnant girl just get some validation?
Instead of telling me….“it’s so worth it.”
Tell me, “fuck yeah, pregnancy sucks”
“Yes it’s scary the shit that happens to your body!”
Stop telling me not to worry that does not help!!!!!!!
I literally got all pissy with my gf (love you Amanda) over this because I had heard it soo much and I was sick and tired literally and full of all the hormones and couldn’t take it anymore.
And then I got sassed for not letting it go. I probably should have just let it go because it doesn’t change anything.
I literally am just supposed to act like I’m not scared, like I’m not full of anxiety, like I’m not terrified of my body changing that I already had issues with to begin with, that I’m not scared of losing my independence, my “me” time, my husband time, my do whatever I want when I want time!
I AM TERRIFIED OF MY LIFE CHANGING!
Please just let me be scared!
Rant Over…I feel better 🙂