As I am sitting here annoyed….I am trying to have empathy.
Empathy for my husband. I don’t like the way he expressed himself and I find myself getting stuck on that…because ya know the therapist in me has these super high expectations that not even I can achieve…that there is a certain way to express yourself in a way that does not damage the relationship (interpersonal effectiveness goal number 2-uh get off it B)
So here I am trying to think about what it must be like to be married to me.
I would imagine it sucks pretty hard. (Omg again with the “That’s what she said” in my head…this is all your fault Steven)
My husband is beautiful…not even just saying that because I love him, but he is one handsome mother fucker. People tell me this all of the time, even straight men. Believe me, I know….I stare at him while he’s sleeping. He looks like a mix between Ryan Reynolds and Channing Tatum…the other two loves of my life….so this just worked out great for me!
Any who, if you have not happened to notice any pictures of him…he is 6’4”, super tan, blinding white teeth, sexy broad man shoulders, and piercing blue eyes. And he just so happens to have manners and an old school charm that will make you melt.
Needless to say…people notice him when he walks in a room. He has probably gotten used to this throughout his life and has grown to expect it and I’m sure enjoys a certain amount of the attention as most humans would.
Well, I hate to say it but I am also an attention grabber…probably a lot of the reason I caught his eye four fabulous years ago. I am 5’9”, super tan as well, have blinding white teeth as well, flowing blonde locks, and a voluptuous hour glass figure. I am not nearly as charming as he is and have to work extra hard at it because I am an all-natural asshole. I’m sort of funny at times, but I’m a bit loud and obnoxious.
It must suck really bad to be married to me….and I presume this based on how annoying some of my favorite people tell me I am (they are my favorite because they tell me this shit to my face) and because I get to hear my moms side of it.
See, my mom is married to one of these people…one of these people like me and Steven….Probably why I married my Steven! He is just like my father Steven! If that isn’t a hoot!
Anywho, I have always gotten to hear my mom’s experience of being married to one of these people. When I say “these people” I mean those people that capture the rooms attention when they walk in, that seem to get anything they want when they ask for it, that seem to have things come so easily to them just because….
I know how this has left her feeling…mostly annoyed as she is not one to relish in the spotlight, but for someone like my husband who has been used to it most of his life, it must be hard to share. Now…this is all my analytical mind going crazy with assumptions and theories and things he has probably never given the time of day to think about, but it gets my gears going as I question…what is it like to be married to me?
And I encourage all of you Wives to ask yourselves that. Do you think your husband feels in the shadows? Do you you think you share the spotlight or is he in it more than you?
We all have different situations, but I am trying to sit here and consider what life was like for him before me and what it is like now. I still want him to feel important. Even though he is no longer the all-star basketball player or prom king…I want him to feel like the king at home. He’s my king. I want him to still feel like a million bucks when we go places, when I share a post on Facebook, even when it’s just us on the couch.
Instead of being annoyed and focusing on how offended I am about how he expressed himself….I am going to hear him and make adjustments and let it go.
He deserves my attention and he deserves to feel like a king…because he sure as shit makes me feel like a Queen ❤️
November 11, 2018