Score Keeping

Wednesday, November 23

I have broken my vows multiple times already, see this is what this blog is helping me do, keep myself accountable. I have said that this is not just a forum for me to pretend that just because I am a therapist and have had some experience counseling couples or because I have been married one month and one day, that I have any room to advise others. I am here for my heeling and that can hopefully assist with healing others.

I failed this morning by doing that nasty thing called score keeping.  Last week Steven said something that upset me and could not for the life of him understand why it upset me…but as every good therapist knows…it shouldn’t matter why, but just get that it did and be understanding. We let it go, both agreeing to disagree.  This week, low and behold I said something that upset Steven. You can see where this is going….I, despite everything I know, brought back to life the dead horse…Well, that was unsuccessful of course.

There is a reason that is a rule of arguing. Don’t bring up old shit, even if it was yesterday or a week ago! Be the bigger person and let it go.  Be optimistic to the ideal that they are putting two and two together themselves and making the connection.There is a reason that is a rule of arguing. Don’t bring up old shit, even if it was yesterday or a week ago! Be the bigger person and let it go.  Be optimistic to the ideal that they are putting two and two together themselves and making the connection.

Uhhhh but this is so hard, because making the comparison will turn a light switch on his head and then he is going to say, “oh, my gosh, Bunny, you are right, now I totally get it! Why couldn’t I see it before?” Bahahaha yeah that  is going to happen. I know better…just like I know if I eat that chocolate cake I will be sad later and NOT happy, but I do it anyways because it feels good for a minute.

All score keeping does is distract us from the end goal, distract us from taking ownership and responsibility for what is laid in front of us.

No one wins.

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