Who are we becoming?
Early in our relationship this is never ever something we would have seen.
Steven and I have always been people who do not leave things undone. Well, him much more than me. We don’t leave dishes in the sink at bed time. We don’t do laundry without putting it away. We don’t go to bed with shit all over the floor. We don’t leave items out on the counter.
I have to admit, I struggle with this stuff but seeing Steven do it motivates me. But it doesn’t always work. Y’all know I have depression and that contributes to a lot of it, and the hardest to combat.
But I do know this. Putting things away leaves me feeling accomplished. Putting things away leaves me feeling less anxious and less overwhelmed.
I fear some of my lack of motivation is rubbing off on Steven. Are we becoming complacent? We are always sooo tired when we get home.
But does happiness make you complacent too? Do we stop trying so hard after marriage? We all have heard the phrase “fat and happy” due to the common experience of letting yourself go after being in a committed relationship. But do we let ourselves go in other areas too? I can honestly say I don’t make the bed everyday like I used to.
How does this complacency affect depression? All of the things that help me maintain structure and control and a sense of accomplishment go by the wayside when I’m happy and content and complacent because I’d rather snuggle up to my hubs than put laundry away, make the bed or go workout. But not doing these things leads me to feeling depressed! My happiness in my relationship is making me depressed!
If this is us now and we stay on this track of self destruction who will we be in 5 years? 10 years?
I seriously told Steven the other day that I liked when we argued because I got a lot of stuff done. If I don’t want to be around him and I’m hiding from him I clean and workout.
BALANCE! Need to find a happy medium! Always the hardest in my opinion. Sometimes I struggle because if I’m zooming around the house being productive I feel I’m ignoring him.