Do You Feel Guilty About Your Life?

Sometimes I feel guilty about my life. As you’ve probably noticed I have not posted a lot lately. And that really doesn’t have much to do with the fact that I have a two month old now. I mean, for the most part she sleeps most of the day.

One of the things I have been struggling with is what to write about. I feel like it’s good to write about your struggles on one hand because it helps you work through them and on the other hand it helps others relate to you and feel like they are not alone.

On the flipside I’m not sure that anybody wants to hear about all of the amazing things that are going on in your life. I think people like to look at others and find them relatable and realize just because things look perfect on the outside does not mean they always are. Believe me my life is nowhere near perfect but sometimes it feels pretty close and I feel guilty for that.

I cannot write about how horrible life has been since the pandemic because my family has not so much been affected by it. Things were a bit more stressful at work but nothing we couldn’t handle and then I went on maternity leave. I haven’t lost any of my counseling business, I got a stimulus check, I got free McDonald’s for a while, and my student loans were suspended. All I could really complain about is getting tested and having a panic attack in front of my coworkers. But when my nieces who are nine and 11 thought it was no big deal, I can’t really complain about it now can I?

I do miss being able to be carefree while going to dinner and grabbing drinks. I miss large family gatherings and vacations but I’m really hoping things will be back to normal next year or else I might go insane.

I can’t complain about my birthing experience. It was a breeze. So much so that I’m not scared to have another child. My water broke, I went to the hospital, I was in a little bit of pain for a brief period, they gave me an epidural which only pinched, and then I was high as a kite for the rest of it. Despite throwing up during the pushing you could’ve chopped my entire lower half off and I wouldn’t even have noticed.

Sure I bled for a few weeks after that, had to wear some pads, in my who-hah felt like somebody had punched it. However I barely tore And did not have to get stitches so no I really can’t complain.

I can’t complain about this baby as she has been quite the angel. Yes I was up every three hours but that only lasted for a couple of weeks. My boobs stopped hurting because I stopped producing milk after about a month and went to formula which made things a lot easier.

She is a little over two months old and almost sleeping through the night regularly. My husband has been more help than most, I have family to help out, and I still get my me time. I have really enjoyed this maternity leave. When the baby is asleep I work out and lay by the pool. I really have no complaints. Who on earth wants to read about that?? I feel like an asshole just writing this! 🤣🤣🤣