Are You Too Phony?

Sometimes this blog is really hard to write. As I sit here in tears over our argument I question sometimes why I write the things I do. Am I being fake? Am I too phony? Am I acting like everything‘s perfect when it’s not? Am I not putting enough real stuff out there?

Sometimes it feels like when I write something whether I post it or not I’m jinxing our relationship because what follows is something disappointing. Almost exactly contradicting what I have just written. I have to remind myself though that he’s not perfect and neither am I and he doesn’t deserve to get bashed. First of all I’m not in the business of venting about my hubs in my blog, I don’t feel that is fair or beneficial. Also, it takes two to tango. Of course, a portion of it is my wrong as well and even when I write about the good things, I do acknowledge that it’s not every time, all the time, but I appreciate it when it is.

I want to celebrate when it is because that’s the whole premise of where I’m coming from; to focus on the good to focus on the positive because focusing on the negative only breeds negativity and increases the negativity. Research shows that focus on negative aspects of ones personality increases that aspect. It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I want to teach women and encourage them to focus on the positive aspects of their relationship because we so often want to focus on the negative. It’s cathartic. It’s easy. But it’s not good for your relationship.

I have to remind myself also that if I want to be forgiven, to be given another chance, to have the opportunity to make changes, I have to treat him the same way. Just because we have one argument here or a blowup there, doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world it doesn’t mean that he can’t do better next time or that I can’t do better next time.

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